Shame robbed me of some of the most incredible treasures God has to offer.

First things first, let me just clarify the difference between shame and guilt. While shame is about who we are (“I am a terrible person”), guilt is about our behavior (“I did something terrible”). When we process guilt in a healthy way, it actually has the potential to help us acknowledge our humanity and dependency on God, and ultimately understand the things we need to learn and correct. It allows us to stay connected to ourselves and to the people around us. On the other hand, shame drains the life out of us. When we decide that we are “no good,” “unworthy,” or a “lost cause,” we are more likely to stay stuck in the self-destructive behaviors that caused us to fall into the trap of shame in the first place. I dare to say the place of shame can become quite comfortable if we allow it. See, a lot of times it is easier to stay bound to the burden of shame and stay stuck in old patterns and sin, rather than to actually do the hard AND heart work we need to change and grow. When I think back on most of my adult life, I can pinpoint so clearly the things I missed out on because of my familiarity with the burden and chains of shame. It was just so much easier to stay ashamed than it was to invest in my emotional, spiritual, and mental growth. Shame robbed me of some of the most incredible treasures God has to offer. Shame isolates, lies, and even causes pride.

Shame isolates; therefore it robbed me of making deep connections with people who truly loved me and time after time proved they were there for me no matter what. It was easier to isolate because to be loved and known is to be exposed and vulnerable, and that was scary to me. What if they see my weaknesses and they leave? What if they only love me if I have it all together? What if this time I can’t be forgiven? These thoughts and questions kept me bound and deceived. This leads me to the second point…

Shame lies; therefore it robbed me of so much peace of mind. It robbed me of my identity. It robbed me of the truth. Shame told me there was no way out. Shame made me believe my poor behaviors of complacency and apathy were acceptable and just “who I am.” Shame knows what to say, when to say it, and how to say it. The more we feed it, the more convincing it sounds.

Shame leads to pride. The truth is, I can’t think of shame without thinking about pride. Personally, I believe shame and pride are two sides of the same coin. We become prideful when we live bound to shame. Shame leads us to refuse help, and that’s pride. Shame leads us to make excuses for how we treat people and how we behave, and that is pride. Shame makes us want to be self-sufficient, and that is pride. Shame leads us to hide from doing what is right, and that’s pride.

 “But just because pride moves us to hide our shame in the wrong places doesn’t mean that our instinct to hide is completely wrong. It isn’t. We do need a place to hide, but we need to hide in the right place.”  - Caitlin Meadows

There is a right place to hide…and that’s Jesus. There’s a name that has the power to turn every chain of shame into dust…and that’s Jesus. Every drop of blood that Jesus poured on that cross was poured so that you could live radically free. We’ll make mistakes. We’ll treat people wrong. We’ll say something hurtful. God already took all of that into consideration when He made us…and still, He loved us enough to give us the answer to every shame, every burden, pride, and hurt…and the answer is Jesus. 

Posted 1/15/2022