It’s a word we all have some association with, and it is almost never, ever neutral. I would venture to say when we hear the word “consequence” all of us automatically think of something negative. As someone who has been teaching middle schoolers for the past nine years, that is definitely where my mind goes. I wonder how many times I’ve used the word “consequence” whether it was explaining the class rules, giving a one-on-one lecture to a student who broke the rules, delivering the hard news that a student had been suspended due to the consequences of his/her own actions, the list goes on.

My second year of teaching I had a really, really difficult child in my eighth grade class. The first few months of school were trying, as he was the type of student who could rally the class behind him and derail your whole lesson. That’s how much I wanted to give a consequence he would actually feel. Calling home didn’t do much, because he bounced from foster home to foster home so often. Sending him out of the classroom was like a vacation because he didn’t want to be in class anyway. And if you put him in lunch detention, well he would just rile the whole room up. So I came up with a consequence that I knew would hurt him: Saturday detention during his basketball game.

The Friday evening before detention I was shopping in Barnes & Noble (obviously that’s what teachers love to do on their Friday nights!). I remember seeing a book and God said, “buy it for him.” I thought, What? Buy it for him? Tomorrow is supposed to be detention! But God said again, “buy it for him.” So I bought the book and drove to school the next morning. Before entering the building I told God, “Well, it was your idea to buy this book, so you better give me the words to say when I give it to him!” 

I handed my student the book, and when I opened my mouth something came out like: “I saw this book and knew it was for you. And even though I’m upset with your actions, I got it for you. Because that’s what family does. Family loves each other, no matter what.” I couldn’t believe the words God gave me to say! This boy had disrespected me so many times, and here I was telling him that I love him and we are family. I felt like an idiot. He stared at me blankly, took the book, sat down to serve his time and began reading. We didn’t speak.

The next week in class we were discussing a story where one sibling was helping the other clean up his mess, although the other clearly didn’t deserve it. This student raised his hand and said, “He is doing that because they are family. And family loves each other no matter what. Just like how Ms. Autiero gave me a book last week. Even though she was mad at me, she still bought it for me because she loves me.” The whole class, including me, was stunned. I thought I looked like a weak pushover for buying him that book and saying I loved him. Yet, that was the EXACT thing my student needed. At the time I didn’t understand why God told me to buy him a book when I was trying to give a consequence, but God wanted to teach my student a different lesson: a lesson about His love. In hindsight, it’s so clear to me. My student had been in foster care all his life and passed from home to home. The love he knew was broken and cruel. God was trying to plant a seed of His love in this boy’s heart, and I still pray to this day for that seed to come to fruition. 

Jesus bore all our consequences on the cross. Romans 5:2 (NASB) reads: “The wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus.” Wages here can be substituted with the word consequences. Our consequence should be death, BUT instead we have been given the gracious gift of eternal life. Why? Because of what Jesus did for us dying on the cross, crucifying all our sins, and rising from the grave... full-knowing that we would mess up, deny Him, the list goes on! Yet He still chose to give us this everlasting gift, just because He loves us THAT much.

Lots of times we want to give people consequences for their actions, especially their actions that disappoint or hurt us. However, sometimes that person is in need of grace and mercy, just like Jesus extended to us. I’m not saying there shouldn’t be consequences at all, because that isn’t Biblical. The Bible states that we reap what we sow, and there are natural consequences to every choice we make. Yet as human beings we all come to a crossroads where we have the choice to give a consequence to another person, or extend mercy to them. Years ago I came up with the witty idea of Saturday detention (perhaps influenced by The Breakfast Club 😁), but God had a different plan in mind. Sure, my consistent detention would have eventually straightened this student out, but following the Holy Spirit’s voice opened a door to share God’s love with His hurting child. 

Maybe there is someone at work who has really been getting on your nerves lately. Maybe your best friend disappointed you and it really stung. I don’t know what your situation is, but I know God has your solution. If you are anything like me, you want to solve it yourself and already have a plan or consequence in mind. But I’d like to lovingly remind you to check in with God. See what He thinks you should do. His idea might sound crazy at the time, but when you take that step in faith, I promise He will meet you each moment along the way. When you do it God’s way, it will always end in God being glorified.

“In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven” - Matthew 5:16

Posted 5/15/2022